Lil Jon Reflects On Son Nathan’s Final Conversation Before His Death

Losing a child is an incredibly painful experience that no parent should have to face, and this is the situation that Jonathan Smith, better known as Lil Jon, has recently encountered. His son, Nathan Smith, passed away in February, leading to a profound sense of heartbreak for Jon.

On Wednesday, PEOPLE released a section from Lil Jon’s forthcoming memoir, “I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me,” where he discussed the distressing call he received after Nathan went missing and their final conversation before his passing.

Jon revealed that he began writing the memoir in early 2024, intending it to be a way to share his life experiences. These experiences included performing with Usher at the Super Bowl LVIII Halftime Show, going through a divorce, and welcoming his daughter, Nahara. He described the writing process as therapeutic and stated he felt happier than he had in a long time. However, while gearing up for the book’s release, he received the tragic news that Nathan had left his home in Georgia.

“The police had searched everywhere. But he hadn’t turned up,” Jon reflected. “It was so surreal because everything seemed fine leading up to this moment. Days before, he called to say, ‘I love you.’ I told him I loved him, too.” According to Jon, Nathan was navigating the challenges that many young adults face, along with “some emotional difficulties.”

Jon shared that Nathan had dealt with significant physical pain for approximately three or four years, which sometimes made simple actions like getting off the couch a struggle. “He couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. And he couldn’t determine how to find long-term relief,” Jon noted.

In the memoir excerpt, Jon elaborated on his encouragement for Nathan to take better care of himself. Early one Saturday morning, Nathan sent a text expressing his love for his father and his commitment to improve his communication while letting his fears go. He wrote, “My love for you is stronger than my fear. And I’ma get on the supplements tomorrow.” He also commented on their family dynamic, noting that conflicts arose out of care for one another.

Jon replied, “I do care a lot. You are my only son, and I worry about you a lot. You are so talented and extremely smart. Nothing should be holding you back. I pray for the days you have no more discomfort and no more fear. You will excel in everything you want to do. Those days are coming. Love you.” After discussing this interaction with his therapist, who emphasized that Nathan simply desired to be acknowledged, Jon called his son back to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” Jon recounted telling Nathan. “I see that you’re trying, and I want you to know that you are seen. All the effort you’ve been putting in — I see it. And I see you.” He expressed, “Little did I know that was the last time I would talk to him. The next day, I got the call that he was missing. My mind went into overdrive.”

Nathan, who pursued a music career like his father as DJ Young Slade, was found in a pond near Mayfield Park by the Cherokee County Fire Department on February 6, as reported by CBS News. The cause of death was officially ruled as drowning associated with psilocybin use, indicating the psychedelic substance was present in his system at the time.

“My head dropped. My heart broke. I was shell-shocked, overwhelmed with pain,” Jon recalled feeling when officers informed him that they had located his son. He remarked that just as no preparation exists for the moment a child enters the world, similarly, there is no readiness for when a child leaves it. Throughout the excerpt, Jon detailed his disbelief that Nathan would ever harm himself and the restless nights he faced leading up to his son’s funeral.

“I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me” is currently available for preorder and will be released on Tuesday. The following day, Jon is scheduled to speak with Charlamagne Tha God at a New York Barnes & Noble to discuss the memoir, followed by an event in Los Angeles with historian and journalist Ashley Kahn on October 26 at another Barnes & Noble.